How to Prepare for Family Constellation using Family Tree

Draw a Genogram or a map of your
Family tree
starting from your own generation and going up the branches
if you do not have factual information
you may have a story or an image of that person.
perhaps this can give you some clues

Spend some time preparing your own Family Tree
Open your heart and listen what is the message passed on through the genrations

Below are the Questions you need to ask about members of past generations.

You do not need to know all the answers, but it important that you pay attention to family secrets, awkward subjects, and family taboos.
You might find something suprprisingly relevant.

Please look at your family tree and answer the following questions:

1) The Children (Your Own Generation)

How many children are there in your family?
Please place, in order of birth, all brothers & sisters, including stillborn children, abortions, and those who died early.
Are there any other children (half-brothers/ half-sisters) from other or previous relationships of your parents?
Is there anyone who has or had difficult circumstances (disability, accident, chronic illness, deportation, persecution, etc.)?
Is there anyone who never married and became a priest or a nun?

2) Your Parents

How did they meet? (Was it for love or convenience?)
How old were they when they met?
If they didn’t marry, what was the reason?
If they separated, why? when?

2a) Your Mother

How old is she? (Or how and when she passed away?)
Which child was she in her family? How many brothers and sisters? Are they alive?
Did she, or anyone in her family, go through a tragic event (such as death of parents/siblings, war, deportation, bankruptcy, running away, exclusion)?
Any previous marriages or other relationships of the mother.

-       When did these relationships begin?
-       How long did they last?
-       How did they end?

2b)     Your Father

How old is he? (Or how and when he passed away?)
Which child was he in his family? How many brothers and sisters? Are they alive?
Did he, or anyone in his family, go through a tragic event (such as death of parents/siblings, war, deportation, bankruptcy, running away, exclusion)?
Any previous marriages or other relationships of the father.

-       When did these relationships begin?
-       How long did they last?
-       How did they end?

3) Your Grandparents

3a) Your Maternal Grandparents (Mother's Parents)

How did they meet? (Was it for love or convenience?)
How old were they when they met?
If they didn’t marry, what was the reason?
If they separated, why? when?
Were there any previous marriages or other relationships?

3b) Your Paternal Grandparents (Father's Parents)

How did they meet? (Was it for love or convenience?)
How old were they when they met?
If they didn’t marry, what was the reason?
If they separated, why? when?
Were there any previous marriages or other relationships?

3c) Your Maternal Grandmother (Your Mother's Mother)

Which child was she in her family?
How many siblings did she have?
Is she alive? If not, how did she die?
Did she or any of her siblings have a difficult/traumatic fate?

3d) Your Maternal Grandfather (Your Mother's Father)

Which child was he in his family?
How many siblings did he have?
Is he alive? If not, how did he die?
Did he or any of his siblings have a difficult/traumatic fate?

4) Other Members of the Family System (People Who Are Connected to the Family by Circumstances)

Other individuals that should be included in the Family System include:

Were there any victims of violence and murder by any members of the family?
Has anyone saved the life of a family member?
Has anyone murdered or in any other way harmed the life or persecuted a family member?

Has the misfortune or death of anyone brought a family member advantage or gain?

5) Any Significant Events In Your Extended Family / Clan?

Please include imprisonment, war events, holocaust, murder, harm or disability, mental illness, bankruptcy, being cheated of an inheritance, being disowned by the family, separation from the family due to adoption, immigration, political or religious persecution or activity, any family secrets that forced a person to go away.

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